Kaitlyn Dever’s Abby Role: Hate, Grief, and The Last of Us

Casting announcements often spark debate, but Kaitlyn Dever’s role as Abby in The Last of Us season 2 triggered threats, extra security, and a personal tragedy that reshaped her career milestone. Here’s how the 28-year-old actress ended up at the center of a storm blending grief, online hate, and a deeply emotional performance.

Birthdate: December 21, 1996 ·
Height: 5 ft 4 in (1.63 m) ·
Known for: Justified, Last Man Standing, Unbelievable, The Last of Us ·
Instagram followers: 1M+ ·
Role in The Last of Us: Abby in Season 2

Nine key facts about Kaitlyn Dever, one pattern: a career built on emotionally demanding roles.

Was Kaitlyn Dever Originally Cast as Ellie in The Last of Us?

There’s a persistent rumor that Dever was originally cast as Ellie in the video game. The truth is more nuanced: she was considered for the role due to her likeness and acting range, but the part ultimately went to Ashley Johnson (The Hollywood Reporter). For the HBO adaptation, Bella Ramsey was cast as Ellie, leaving Dever to take on the controversial role of Abby.

• Dever was reportedly attached to the video game Ellie role during early development but never officially signed — a common conceptual casting move in Hollywood.
• The HBO series made its own casting decisions, with Craig Mazin and Neil Druckmann choosing Ramsey for Ellie and later offering Abby to Dever without an audition (The Hollywood Reporter).

The pattern: Dever’s career has been defined by emotionally demanding roles that often arouse public scrutiny.

Why Did Kaitlyn Dever Need Extra Security?

In August 2024, co-star Isabela Merced revealed that Dever required extra security on the set of The Last of Us season 2. The reason? Intense fan hatred toward the character Abby (Deadline).

What sparked the hate directed at Kaitlyn Dever’s Abby character?

The backlash mirrors the one that erupted after the 2020 video game The Last of Us Part II. Some fans disliked Abby’s appearance and plot role, while false rumors spread that the character was transgender — a claim that generated targeted toxicity (Deadline). Merced explained that the threats were directed at the fictional character, not Dever personally, but security measures were still needed.

• Decider reported as early as January 2024 that fans were “terrified” Dever would receive death threats (Decider).
• The security was reportedly increased for scenes involving large crowds or public locations.

The implication: even before a single episode aired, the show needed to protect its cast from its most vocal fans.

Does Kaitlyn Dever Support LGBTQ?

Yes, and she’s been vocal about it. Dever has publicly expressed support for LGBTQ rights and representation, particularly during the press tour for Dopesick (2021).

What did Kaitlyn Dever say about LGBTQ representation in ‘Dopesick’?

In interviews, Dever emphasized the importance of inclusive storytelling. She told ELLE that representing authentic queer experiences on screen matters because it allows people to see themselves in stories that too often sideline them.

• She has advocated for inclusive casting and storylines that don’t tokenize LGBTQ characters.
• Dever’s support extends beyond interviews — her social media often signals solidarity with the community.

“I think it’s so important to tell stories that are inclusive and show the reality of people’s lives. Everyone deserves to feel seen.”

— Kaitlyn Dever, speaking to ELLE

The catch: her support for LGBTQ representation makes the transphobic rumors about Abby all the more ironic — Dever is an ally playing a character targeted by such rumors.

What Happened to Kaitlyn Dever’s Mom?

Kaitlyn Dever’s mother, Kathy Dever, passed away in February 2024 after a battle with metastatic breast cancer (TODAY). The loss happened just weeks before Dever was scheduled to film a crucial scene for The Last of Us season 2.

How did Kaitlyn Dever lose her mother?

Kathy Dever died at home surrounded by family. Dever later described being in a “fog or daze” during the shoot. The production team adjusted the schedule, allowing her to choose a day when she felt ready to film, and shot the scene on a closed set to give her privacy (TODAY).

• Craig Mazin said he “would not disrupt an actor’s grieving for a parent, especially in a show centered on grief” (TODAY).
• Dever’s agent sent a message to cast and crew asking them not to discuss her mother’s death before her first day on set (Vulture).

“I wanted to maintain control over my emotions. The crew honored that request completely.”

— Kaitlyn Dever, to Vulture

The paradox: Dever channeled real-life grief into playing a character driven by fictional grief, making the performance both deeply personal and potentially more powerful.

Is Kaitlyn Dever Married or in a Relationship?

As of 2025, Kaitlyn Dever’s relationship status is private. There are no verified reports of marriage, engagement, or a current partner. She has not publicly discussed dating or a significant other.

• Her Instagram bio includes memorial emoticons for her parents, but no hint of a romantic partner.
• Speculation occasionally surfaces, but Dever has never confirmed any relationship.

What this means: fans curious about her personal life will find only silence — a choice many celebrities make to maintain boundaries.

Why Did They Change Abby in The Last of Us Season 2?

The character Abby in the video game The Last of Us Part II had a specific physical model (actress Jocelyn Mettler). For the HBO adaptation, the casting team chose Kaitlyn Dever instead — a creative decision, not a response to controversy.

The decision behind Kaitlyn Dever as the perfect live-action Abby

Craig Mazin told The Hollywood Reporter that Dever was “the perfect choice” for live-action Abby because of her emotional range and depth. The role was offered to her without an audition — a strong signal of trust from the showrunners.

• Dever said the casting meeting with Mazin and Neil Druckmann was “simple” and the role felt like a natural fit (Sky).
• The change from the game’s model to a different actor is standard in TV adaptations, where performance and screen presence outweigh exact physical resemblance.

“Abby is a person in mourning — her grief drives her rage. I understood that completely.”

— Kaitlyn Dever, to Vulture

The trade-off: while some fans wanted a replica of the game character, the showrunners bet on an actor who could carry the emotional weight — a bet that comes with both artistic payoff and real-world backlash.

Kaitlyn Dever stepped into the role of Abby carrying two extraordinary burdens: the weight of a beloved but polarizing video game character, and the fresh grief of losing her mother. The hate she received before viewers even saw her performance underscores a toxic corner of fandom that treats actors as proxies for fictional decisions. But the support from her cast and crew — and her own determination to humanize Abby rather than villainize her — suggests a resilience that may define her career.

For fans of The Last of Us, the implication is clear: separate the performer from the character, or risk driving talented actors away from the roles they were born to play.